an_eye_for_a_shoe_by_subtlezer0-d6m186s

I was stood on the corner of the street
Stalking my client’s husband like death.
The night was cold,
The kind of cold where you can see your own breath.
eA white fog pouring out our mouth
disguising our words.
Seems like everything in life is hidden by something else
A wall, a mist, a hat, a face
Maybe that’s the one truth we know about ourselves,
Our nature is to lie.

 
Wow, I’m starting to ramble
How long have they been in this place?
Feels like it’s been forever. 
How long is he gonna spend talking to this broad
I thought this guy just wanted to boil his cabbage.
 What’s he doing now showing her his baseball card collection?
What does she even see in this fraud?
He ain’t tall, dark or handsome.
He’s gotta a nose like a pickle,
Must take a bed-sheet just to blow it. 
But then I suppose anyone can get women thrown their way
 if they’re worth more than a nickle.
I guess there’s just no justice,
He’s sitting in a classy joint with a beautiful Fraulein cosy’n up to him,
While I’m standing in the cold making like Jack the Ripper.
Sometimes I really hate this job. 
Did I just hear a whisper?
 
JIMMY
Hey man, you haven’t seen ma shoes have you?
 
ME
What?
 
JIMMY
Ma shoes. You seen ’em?
 
ME
Have you tried your feet?
 
JIMMY
I tried, they ain’t there no more.
 
ME
When did you take ’em off?
 
JIMMY
I never took ’em off.
 
ME
You tell’n me they walked away from you?
 
JIMMY
No man, I’m say’n they been bent.
 
ME
You think I stole ’em?
 
JIMMY
No, I know who stole em.
 
ME
Who?
 
JIMMY
Big Dave.
 
ME
Big Dave? He must have been pretty big to have taken your shoes.
 
JIMMY
Who Big Dave? Nah man, he’s five none.
 
ME
What? So why the hell do they call him Big Dave?
 
JIMMY
Same reason they call me Jimmy Two-Shoes.
 
I hate coming to this side of town,
Especially at this time of Day. 
All kinds of cartoons running up and down. 
Looking at this guy I can tell he’s been screwed, blued and tattooed
I almost envy him in a weird way. 
 
ME
You say you never took ’em off.
 
JIMMY
I’ve had those shoes on since I was born.
 
ME
Then he must have taken ’em off you while you were walking.
 
JIMMY
No he hit me with a dog chain.
 
ME
With the dog attached?
 
JIMMY
He doesn’t own a dog.
 
ME
What happened after that?
 
JIMMY
Well, I passed out, woke up, and then asked you if you’d seen ma shoes.
 
ME
I don’t think I can help you Jimbo.JIMMY
Oh, that’s cool. You got any bread?I tossed him a nickle, a quarter, a dime
Whatever I had in my pockets.
I went back to play’n dick
but the two of them were gone, 
probably decided the joint was too classy for what they intended.
I jumped in to the boiler, running reds to make up for lost time.