a_lady_of_interest_by_subtlezer0-d6kmswo

I was sat at the bar, like I usually would.
Pouring in my regrets like scotch,
Blowing away my worries like smoke
Etching my name in the caramel fudge table.
 

That’s when she came in
Stealing the light in the room,

Shining it in my face like a bad cop.
Her face porcelain, her eyes emerald
Her hair …well her hair
A color I’d never seen.
The lighting was dim
So I don’t know what it could have been
But take my word, she was fine.
She sat like a cat in a fish market,
I stared like a bear in a steam room. 

 LADY
Can I buy you a drink?
 
ME
I’m sorry, what?
 
LADY
CAN. I. BUY. YOU. A. DRINK.
 
ME
I don’t know, can you?
 
LADY
Try me.
 
ME
Pink Flamingo.
 
LADY
They’re all out.
 
ME
Shirley Temple.
 
LADY
Amateur hour.
 
ME
Sex on the beach.
 
LADY
Don’t get ahead of yourself.ME
It’s not everyday that I get a beautiful dame offering to buy me drinks.LADY
You really think I’m beautiful?She indulged me, or I indulged her
I’m not sure, 
I know she wanted something from me
And I wanted something form her.
Just sitting next to her made me cloud nine,
Every other guy in the bar was green. LADY
I hear you’re a dick.ME
What kinda dick are you talking about?LADY
The kind that follows married men around.ME
That depends, is the married man yours?LADY
Only in writing, you can relax champ.ME
I see. So the guy’s probably worth a dime or two. You want me to tail your fella and take pictures of him with his goomah.LADY
Sounds like you’re no stranger to this then.ME
No, but I’m gonna be a stranger to this.

There was something else going on.

I didn’t want to be screwin’ the pooch,
Not with a barn burner like her. 
Had to keep my distance
Like a Corvair behind a hearse.

LADY
I thought this kinda stuff was your bag? Why you turning me down face?

ME
Cause broads like you are nuttin’ but trouble.

LADY
The trouble’s nothing but my own. I’m not playing any angles; only thing I’m looking for is an alimony check.

ME
Then you ought to be talking to an attorney.

LADY
Well, I never thought I run in to someone allergic to making bread.

ME
There are other dicks who do what I do for less.

LADY
You came recommended. They all said you were a classy guy, real 18 karat heart.

 

ME
You gotta get a second opinion, try some of the cats over on the east side of town.

LADY
No, I want you.

She speaks like one of those Russian dolls
Not with an accent, 
She just hides the little things that she’s saying behind bigger words.
I knew better than to take whatever she was dealing me.
So why did I?
Cause I wanted to see more of her.
More of her face
 Her eyes 
Her hourglass
Her hair, her hair.
Mostly cause of her hair.
I gotta find out what color it is.