You begged us to stop, but we just kept going deeper.

Dear Viewer,

How unfortunate for you, we don’t upload anything for years and in 2022 we return with not one film but two. I present to you the very end of the Glitched People saga, that’s right, its finally over. If you’ve suffered through all our content well-done, you’re very good at suffering. I would like to thank you, from the bottom of the chasm that is my heart for absolutely nothing. Yeah, lets be real for once on here, there’s no fucking audience, I know I’m just talking to myself. This whole film making exercise was recommended by my psychic, because I have trouble expressing, but I guess that’s all over now; its hard to express anything behind bars. Yeah, that racketeering charge finally caught up to us; just a couple of weeks and it would have been beyond the statue of limitations as well. So there’s a lesson, don’t extort religious leaders, and to all those who were told “No” or “You can’t” this is for you. Our hopes and dreams are for nobody else but ourselves, don’t let others take it. Tell them to speak to the manager and present your balls.

P.S. If Netflix is watching, please stop recommending Riverdale to me!

Worst Regards
Space Lion
To Catch a Predator Alumni

CREDITS

Directed by Dan Russo | Edited by Sean Johansen | Produced by Edward Amoah, Musa Kuburlaj and Akos Bolf | Written by Dan Russo and Sean Johansen | Additional material performed by the cast

All music and stock footage is royalty free, and used in accordance with the fair usage policy act, and are properties of their respective owners.

Any resemblance between the characters in this picture and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle.

Copyright © 2016 Glitched. All rights reserved

INSTAGRAM: https://bit.ly/3iAy5Un

TWITTER: https://bit.ly/3hoWlHO

FACEBOOK: https://bit.ly/35CDhnk

WEBSITE: https://bit.ly/2ZC7Cyx

This film is not appropriate for children, so if you are a children then FUCK OFF!

Please FORGET to comment, rate and DO NOT subscribe! FUCK YOU!

Dear Viewer,

I normally introduce these videos with ridiculous grandiloquence, but for this video I’m going to have to speak to you candidly. What you’re about to watch or attempt to watch is a passion project my conspirators and I have been working on since 2017. Now, if the YouTube upload ever finishes, then the year we are uploading this should be 2022. That’s right, its taken us five years… the quality of work will in no way reflect the that. We have no budget, no resources, no support, no decorum, no clue, no grasp of the English language or mise en scène, but the one thing we do have is… balls. We have the balls to make something from nothing, to do something others would advise against out of fear or inhibition. We are not crippled by expectations, embarrassment or failure. So, I won’t ask you to be kind, patient or understanding, because we are not ashamed of what we’ve accomplished, we are proud of it. And I won’t tell you to enjoy it because that’s your choice… but I will tell you to go fuck yourself.

Worst Regards,
Space Lion
No one of any note

CREDITS

Directed by The Fire Cult | Edited by Edward Amoah | Produced by Musa Kuburlaj and Akos Bolf | Written by Dan Russo and Sean Johansen | Additional material performed by the cast

All music and stock footage is royalty free, and used in accordance with the fair usage policy act, and are properties of their respective owners.

Any resemblance between the characters in this picture and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle.

Copyright © 2016 Glitched. All rights reserved

INSTAGRAM: https://bit.ly/3iAy5Un

TWITTER: https://bit.ly/3hoWlHO

FACEBOOK: https://bit.ly/35CDhnk

WEBSITE: https://bit.ly/2ZC7Cyx

This film is not appropriate for children, so if you are a children then FUCK OFF!

Please FORGET to comment, rate and DO NOT subscribe! FUCK YOU!

Our heroes have reached their destination. Now all they have to do is return the head to a well trusted, and revered local villager. The villager however, has bigger plans of his own…

CREDITS

Directed by Daniele Russo and Sean Johansen | Special Guest Director Musa Mal Sija | Edited by Sean Johansen | Post Editing by Edward Amoah | Produced by Edward Amoah and Musa Mal Sija | Written by Daniele Russo and Sean Johansen | Additional material performed by the cast

THE CAST

Don Devitt – Daniele Russo Professor Henry Hawthorne – Sean Johansen Chieftain – Musa Mal Sija Native Guide – Edward Amoah Abu’s Recruit- Bobby Bailey All music and stock footage is royalty free, and used in accordance with the fair usage policy act, and are properties of their respective owners. Any resemblance between the characters in this picture and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle.

Copyright © 2019 Glitched. All rights reserved.

Dear Viewer,

Help me out here, Yennifer or Triss? I’m serious which one should I choose. It’s been three years and I still haven’t finished the game. Which one do I choose?!

Worst Regards,

Space Lion Bad Idea Implementation Manager for Game of Thrones

Glitch People – S2 E4: The Part of The Fool After much antics and sidetracking, our heroes finally arrive at the mysterious village of the shrunken head. But like everything else thus far in their journey, nothing will go according to plan. Remember to hate, bitch and forget to subscribe. And fuck you for watching.

CREDITS

Directed by Daniele Russo and Sean Johansen | Special Guest Director Musa Mal Sija | Edited by Sean Johansen | Post Editing by Edward Amoah | Produced by Edward Amoah and Musa Mal Sija | Written by Daniele Russo and Sean Johansen | Additional material performed by the cast

THE CAST

Don Devitt – Daniele Russo Professor Henry Hawthorne – Sean Johansen Chieftain – Musa Mal Sija Native Guide – Edward Amoah All music and stock footage is royalty free, and used in accordance with the fair usage policy act, and are properties of their respective owners. Any resemblance between the characters in this picture and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle.

Copyright © 2019 Glitched. All rights reserved.

Dear Viewer,

The Night King enters the cave and kills the Three-Eyed Raven. As Bran, Meera and Hodor make their escape, Leaf and Bran’s direwolf, Summer, sacrifice themselves to hold back the undead. Hodor closes the hideout’s door behind them, keeping the undead inside while Meera escapes with Bran. Meera repeatedly orders Hodor to “hold the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.”

Worst Regards,

Space Lion Apparently the only guy who found that whole scene ridiculous

Glitch People – S2 E3: You Reap What You Sow Henry and Don chase the trail of the cursed shrunken head. Unfortunately for them another more insidious party seeks the relic too. This time all roads lead to violence.

Remember to hate, bitch and forget to subscribe. And fuck you for watching.

CREDITS

Directed by Daniele Russo and Sean Johansen | Special Guest Director Musa Mal Sija | Edited by Sean Johansen | Post Editing by Edward Amoah | Produced by Edward Amoah and Musa Mal Sija | Written by Daniele Russo and Sean Johansen | Additional material performed by the cast

THE CAST

Don Devitt – Daniele Russo Professor Henry Hawthorne – Sean Johansen Abu – Musa Mal Sija All music and stock footage is royalty free, and used in accordance with the fair usage policy act, and are properties of their respective owners. Any resemblance between the characters in this picture and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle.

Copyright © 2019 Glitched. All rights reserved.

Dear Viewer,

Before I used to introduce these videos with passive aggressive rhetoric, but since then I’ve sought the help I needed. I no longer feel the need to write in such a way. So how about we just cut to the point. Go sit on a dick.

Worst Regards,

Space Lion Sexual Health Consultant to Silvio Berlusconi

Glitch People – S2 E2: Bargain Bucket Bastards A series of thefts from Professor Henry Hawthorne’s Museum, spurs the academic to take action into his own hands. Little does he know, the perpetrator may be a friend. Remember to hate, bitch and forget to subscribe. And fuck you for watching.

CREDITS

Directed by Daniele Russo and Sean Johansen | Special Guest Director Musa Mal Sija | Edited by Sean Johansen | Post Editing by Edward Amoah | Produced by Edward Amoah and Musa Mal Sija | Written by Daniele Russo and Sean Johansen | Additional material performed by the cast

THE CAST

Don Devitt, Benson – Daniele Russo Professor Henry Hawthorne, Colin – Sean Johansen Abu – Musa Mal Sija All music and stock footage is royalty free, and used in accordance with the fair usage policy act, and are properties of their respective owners. Any resemblance between the characters in this picture and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle.

Copyright © 2019 Glitched. All rights reserved.

Dear Viewer,

The wait is over. The second season of Glitched People is here. I know what you’re thinking. “I did’t ask for this!” “Why does this show get a second season but Firefly doesn’t?!” I’ll tell you why, because God loves us and not you. “But it’s not fair!” you say. I know it isn’t. Here’s what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna pray for you. This way God will actually listen.

Worst Regards,

Space Lion
Project Implementation Manager for Donald Trump’s Wall

Glitch People – S2 E1: A Museum Job

Meet Professor Henry Hawthrone; a less than brilliant archaeologist desperate for attention. Unfortunately for him, he’ll soon find himself at the center of it; when a sinister plot to cannibalize innocents emerges.

Remember to hate, bitch and forget to subscribe. And fuck you for watching.

CREDITS

Directed by Daniele Russo and Sean Johansen | Special Guest Director Musa Mal Sija | Edited by Sean Johansen | Post Editing by Edward Amoah | Produced by Edward Amoah and Musa Mal Sija | Written by Daniele Russo and Sean Johansen | Additional material performed by the cast

THE CAST

Don Devitt, Boyle – Daniele Russo

Professor Henry Hawthorne, Colin – Sean Johansen

Abu – Musa Mal Sija

All music and stock footage is royalty free, and used in accordance with the fair usage policy act, and are properties of their respective owners.

Any resemblance between the characters in this picture and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle.

Copyright © 2017 Glitched. All rights reserved.

CHAPTER ONE

The joyous atmosphere that once surrounded the Cornell estate was swept away. Now only a sombre chill filled the air. The family were sat in the foyer, now released from their bonds. Cilly was sat next to Emma, Linda took notice of this and wasn’t pleased. She felt insulted that her daughter would rather be grieving beside a stranger than her own mother. Walt was sat inside the master bedroom, across from Cornell who laid unconscious at his death bed. Hours went by as everyone waited for news of his health. Fortunately one of the many attendees of the wedding was a renowned surgeon. He along with the help of some paramedics rescued Cornell; they even managed to see to Maurice’s wounds.

Walt himself couldn’t help but feel responsible. He held the man and his family hostage, he purposefully scared them, while Louie maimed their staff. What hurt the most was how he disappointed Cilly. Instead of saving her father he nearly killed him. It seemed as Walt’s homecoming was more calamity than comeback. On a subconscious level this was what he feared; back in Hell he actually made something of himself. Earth was a different story, his first attempt was such a washout you wouldn’t blame him for wanting to stay downstairs. It seemed as if he was jinxed, destined to fail even.

While he sat there patiently awaiting Cornell to awake, he pondered on whether he should continue working amongst the living anymore. He came to the conclusion that he just wasn’t cut out for it. He was going to return to the fiery pits. He knew Emma wasn’t going to like it. He dreaded the thought of telling her. Perhaps he wouldn’t, perhaps he’d just slip into the night never to be seen again. Running away from a problem was always easier than facing it. He felt sick, to even think such a thing. She was all he had left, she deserved an explanation. Cilly on the other hand, there was no way he could face her; he just wasn’t strong enough.

Suddenly Cornell starred to stir. He opened his eyes to see Walt sitting in the shadows.

CORNELL
Is this Hell?

WALT
No. You’re still alive.

CORNELL
Heh, only a matter of time right?

Walt hanged his head.

WALT
David, I’m sorry. I didn’t want this to happen. I shouldn’t have pushed so hard. I should have respected your choice.

CORNELL
No. You shouldn’t have.

WALT
What?

CORNELL
Using a man’s daughter against him, you’re a real ruthless son of a bitch.

Walt could hear footsteps approaching.

CORNELL (CONT’D)
She’s a good kid. I never spent much time on her, because… she never needed it. I always knew she was gonna be okay. She doesn’t take after me or Linda, that’s why. I swear she must be somebody else’s.

WALT
She, urm… she’s stubborn. I think that comes from you.

Cornell managed to muster a smile. The door creaked open, and through it entered Cilly.

CILLY
Dad. You’re awake.

She gently closed the door behind her and glanced at Walt. He wasn’t sure whether she was pleased or displeased to see him. He assumed it was the later.

CILLY (CONT’D)
I heard Walt talking and I assumed you were up. How are you feeling?

CORNELL
I’m not sure. I don’t what to feel or what to think. I just know I… I wasn’t the best father to you.

CILLY
What are you talking about?

CORNELL
No, listen. Cecilia, it’s true. I can deny a lot of things but I can’t deny that. I thought the key to the right upbringing was wealth. I neglected all the other things, like picking you up from school, helping with your homework or remembering your birthday. I just feel like, one day you were a baby and the next you were a young woman. I missed everything in between.

He began rubbing his eyes. Cilly tearfully accepted his words.

CORNELL (CONT’D)
There’s just so much I want to say to you, things I should have told you long ago. But there’s just no more time.

CILLY
Dad.

CORNELL
I’m sorry.

CILLY
I know… I know.

Cilly grabbed a hold of her father, the two held each other closely as they sobbed. Walt knew what it meant to accept someone for all their faults, to love them relentlessly and to see them go. It’s a pain he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy, and to see it happen to this girl chipped away at what humanity he had left.

CORNELL
I’m ready… I’m ready to break the deal.

Continue reading “Raise Hell: The Good Die Young pt.5” »

CHAPTER ONE

Sure enough the next day Walt was on the Cornell grounds, along with Emma. Although they weren’t the only guests to arrive that day. The drive way was stuffed with 4x4s and convertibles. The guests were all mostly young socialites, clearly Vivian’s friends. The rest were Cornell’s business contacts. They were… well, fat, old and shit.

EMMA
Oh, my God. This place is full of assholes. Are you sure we aren’t in Hell right now?

WALT
I thought you would love to go to a wedding.

EMMA
No, I hate weddings. The only time I want to go to a wedding is if I’m the bride.

WALT
Huh, I never knew that. I just assumed you loved them, being a gurl and all.

EMMA
Would you look at that, you learnt something new. And here I thought you knew everything about me.

WALT
You, don’t exactly know everything about me either.

He knew that wasn’t true.

EMMA
Shut up, you know I do.

WALT
Oh, yeah, who’s underwear am I wearing?

Emma recoiled in disgust.

EMMA
I hope its your own.

WALT
Me too.

The pair’s first stop was to find Cilly. Sure enough, she was at the first place they looked. By the bird bath reading a book. Emma snuck up behind her and poked her in her ribs. She jolted and let out a mousy shriek. Emma and Walt cackled.

CILLY
Emma!

EMMA
Sorry. I couldn’t help it.

Cilly smiled and bounced to her feet. She was blue over having to suffer through her sister’s wedding, but the idea of spending it with Emma and Walt made her ecstatic. She finally felt like one of the cool kids, no, she was way cooler than them. Her friends were older and one of them was a demon from Hell. And there was nothing the other teenagers could say or do that could beat that. She was positively buzzing, and nothing was gonna kill it.

LINDA
Cecilia.

Except for her mother.

LINDA (CONT’D)
We’re going to be starting the rehearsal wedding in about an hour, I expect you to be there.

Cilly turned to face her mother, her face vacant of both expression and emotion. Cilly’s mother stood before the three with her nose turned up.

Her mother was an attractive woman, especially given her age; but it was obviously due to the help of a surgeon. If Emma was a natural beauty then Linda Cornell was an unnatural one.

CILLY
Yes, mother.

Linda turned her attention to Walt and Emma. She mustered the most insincere smile ever performed in human history; it should have been awarded a Razzie.

LINDA
Hello, I’m Linda Cornell. Friends of Vivian’s I assume?

Emma was repulsed by the fact that someone, could mistaken her for one of Vivian’s shallow and spoiled friends.

CILLY
Actually their my friends, mother.

Linda scoffed at the notion. She still saw Cecilia as a toddler, hence why she always spoke down to her.

LINDA
It’s so nice of you to play with Cecilia, she does get restless very easily.

Both Walt and Emma had only known Cilly for several days now, but even they knew that wasn’t true.

LINDA (CONT’D)
Most of Vivian’s friends wouldn’t even bother.

Cilly felt demeaned, and wanted to yell at her mother. What was so hard for her to believe about Emma and Walt being her friends? Did she think she went to a play school, and did finger painting before taking a nap? Emma could see Cilly’s frustration, and she could see how anyone would go crazy with a mother like Linda. Emma wrapped her arm around Cilly’s shoulders.

EMMA
Please, it’s a joy to be with Cilly.

LINDA
Glad to hear it, I’ll see you at the rehearsal.

Linda plucked a stray hair off Cilly’s shoulder.

LINDA (CONT’D)
Make sure you sort your hair out, you look like a doll someone threw away.

Linda waltzed off. Cilly burned holes into the back off her head as she scowled. Emma pinched her cheek and mocked Linda’s voice.

EMMA
Cecilia, did you crawl out of a bin? Good lord, stay away from these people or you’ll catch the poor.

WALT
Aww, she’s all red.

Emma continued to impersonate Linda. Cilly was embarrassed and upset, but she even she found Emma’s antics humourous.

CILLY

It’s not funny guys, my mother is the worst.

Walt ruffled her hair.

WALT
You’re a real black sheep aren’t you?

CILLY
Yeah.

Cilly couldn’t agree more, she was always on the outside looking in when it came to her family.

WALT
It’s okay. You don’t want to be like these people. That was the mistake your father made. You’re already better than them.

Continue reading “Raise Hell: The Good Die Young pt.4” »

CHAPTER ONE

Emma was sat in an antique armchair, she stretched her legs and leaned back. After nearly falling asleep in the chair, she decided she had stayed put long enough. She rose out her seat and began inspecting the foyer. Everything from the carpeting to the chandeliers was grand almost ostentatious yet still contemporary. She then spent sometime sorting herself out in front of a mirror taller than her. She was somewhat ashamed of her appearance, her reddish blonde hair was a wild and unkept bush. Her eyes were red from a lack of sleep and crying; the last several hours had been a somewhat emotional roller coaster. Her clothes were creased and probably a little bit too raunchy for a high society such as this one.
Emma decided she could wait no more and went outside to smoke. She chose to do so in the garden; where she marvelled at the flowers, sculptures and fountain. Someone here had green fingers or at least an appreciation for the like. At the base of a large bird bath was a young girl. She was sat cross legged on the grass reading a book, she was no older than sixteen. Emma bored and starved for attention approached her.

EMMA
You got a lighter?

The girl raised her head and squinted at Emma.

YOUNG GIRL
No, I don’t smoke.

Emma and Walt always used the “you got a lighter?” line as an ice breaker. And it had almost always proved effective; just less so on children.

EMMA
Whatcha reading?

YOUNG GIRL
The Divine Comedy.

Emma laughed to herself, the irony was too perfect.

YOUNG GIRL (CONT’D)
It’s not an actual comedy.

EMMA
I know that, it’s just… An inside joke.

YOUNG GIRL
Are you here cause of the wedding?

EMMA
Not exactly. We, well my cousin actually has business with Gregory Cornell.

YOUNG GIRL
My dad? What kind of business?

EMMA
Ermm, that’s hard to say. But don’t worry it’s nothing bad.

YOUNG GIRL
No offence but you don’t look like a business woman.

EMMA
I ain’t offended, I know I’m too hot to work with bar charts and numbers.

The young girl sniggered.

EMMA (CONT’D)
So Gregory Cornell is your dad. What’s that like?

The young girl screwed her face up, it was clear she was struggling to find a suitable word.

YOUNG GIRL
Efficient.

EMMA
Efficient?

YOUNG GIRL
Yeah, he’s crazy about time management. He taught me if you’re early you’re on time, and if you’re on time you’re late. Longest I’ve ever seen him idle is maybe about five minutes.

EMMA
So he’s a workaholic.

YOUNG GIRL
He’d take that as a compliment.

EMMA
What about you, does he pay enough attention to you?

YOUNG GIRL
Not as much as Vivian, she’s my older sister.

EMMA
The bridezilla?

YOUNG GIRL
Yeah, she acts like she doesn’t want him around; but she’s always doing this to get his attention.

EMMA
Like what?

YOUNG GIRL
Well, one time she drove dad’s Bentley into the pool.

Emma chuckled, she could she herself doing the same thing; especially if it made her the focus of a loved one. She to would have been a spoiled brat; had she the same luxuries and privileges as Vivian in life. But her life was quite the opposite, she never had a Bentley or any kind of car she could crash; let alone a pool. She did however have an absent and neglectful father. Despite how polite the young girl was being, Emma could read between all the lines and understood her grief all too well.

Continue reading “Raise Hell: The Good Die Young pt.3” »