When I see you cry, yeah, it makes me smile.

Dear Viewer,

So you’ve looked at episode 1 and come back for more. Either you’re the worst human beings in the world or you’re just here to hurl more abuse- in which case keep up the good work.

Your One and Only,

Sean Johansen
WWE Writer’s Room Alumni

Glitched People – Episode 2: Follow the Money

We pick up where we left off… fuck knows where that’s supposed to be, but nonetheless, here’s some South African debt collectors.

CREDITS

Directed by Space Lion | Produced by Edward Amoah | Written by Daniele Russo, Sean Johansen and Edward Amoah | Additional material performed by the cast

THE CAST

Harper, Hans, Footsteps – Daniele Russo

Hector, Charlie Brown – Sean Johansen

Larry Goldberg – Savas Constantine

The Cameraman – Edward Amoah

All music and stock footage is royalty free, and used in accordance with the fair usage policy act, and are properties of their respective owners.

Any resemblance between the characters in this picture and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle.

Copyright © 2016 Glitched. All rights reserved

RAISE HELL

(Disclaimer, this is a work of fiction not my actual memoirs)

Okay, so here’s a story from my life. Oh, I know you’re not interested, so I’ll just skip to the good bit. The day I died. I’m sure that makes you happy. I know you’re thinking, “Hey, how is he telling us the story if he’s dead?” I’ll get to that, I’m building intrigue. Really my death is only the beginning of the story. It was May when I died. A pretty dull month. A little back ground information on myself, don’t worry I’ll use cliff notes. I didn’t have a great childhood, got into trouble a lot and never took studying seriously.

It was all April Wilson’s fault; she was this girl I liked ever since I started liking girls. So I would always behave like an asshole just to get her attention. I remember when I was fifteen, I stole this shitty Fiat Punto. This cop recognized me in it and started blasting the sirens. I punched it down the streets as fast as I could and hit the rear of another car. And you know what my first thought was? It wasn’t “Oh, my God! I just stole a car and ran from the police, it’ll be on my record forever!” No. I thought “I wonder if April is gonna hear about this, what is she gonna think?”

Fortunately April was a smart girl, she stayed well away from me. She went on to work in marketing, married a closet homo working in PR. Me I set my heights sky high, tried to make something of myself and then came crashing down to reality. There’s a food chain for humans and guys like me are at the bottom of it.

FREDDIE: Walt, could you clean the ceiling?

WALT: The ceiling? That’s like twenty feet high? No one looks up at the ceiling can’t we just leave it?

FREDDIE: I can see the dust floating through the air every time I switch on the lights.

WALT: How am I supposed to even get up that high? I’m the bar tender this isn’t part of my job.

FREDDIE: You’re job is whatever I say it is. Stop being insubordinate and clean the ceiling. I want you to be able to eat off of it.

That’s my boss Freddie, he’s fat and has a lazy eye. I’m not trying to be discriminatory, I’m just addressing key characteristics pertaining to the relevant persons. He thinks it’s possible to eat off of the ceiling, he knows gravity exists but he never takes any logic or reasoning into consideration. It’s like he was made in a lab to be the perfect general manager.

I know what you’re thinking; that I died trying to clean the ceiling. Nope. If I had died there, then I wouldn’t have mind. So why was that bit relevant? Wait. I’m setting things up. If you’re reading this you clearly have nothing better to do. So what harm is an extra paragraph.

On to the night I died, I came home to my piece of shit studio apartment, drank a bottle of rum and then tried my hand at the foreign exchange market. After that it’s all pretty much blank. Sorry, but I honestly don’t remember what happened after my shares in the euro sky dived. God damn euro. The next thing I remember is waking up in a queue.

Continue reading “The Memoirs of The Devil’s Substitue” »

This looks like the start of something awful…

Dear Viewer,

You are watching the first episode of Glitch People, I do not Know what brought you here but God have mercy on your soul. Especially if you plan on seeing it through to the end.

I know what your immediate response to the show is going to be “That was weird and shit.” Well you’re not wrong. A great number of history’s greatest figures were deemed “weird and shit” by the general public; such as Nikola Tesla, Howard Hughes, Micheal Jackson and Charlie Sheen. Despite what others thought they continued on their path, determined to change the landscape around them. You can shut your eyes, plug your ears and turn your head but that wont make us go away. If your pain and suffering were a form of currency then we’d be the taxman. Don’t bother killing yourself… you’re already in hell.

Worst Regards,

Space Lion
Convicted Serial Killer

Glitched People – Episode 1 – Sacred Ground

Hans and the Cameraman begin to document the life of Larry Goldman, and Harper discovers he is not living alone.

Remember to hate, bitch and forget to subscribe. And fuck you for watching.

CREDITS

Directed by Space Lion | Produced by Edward Amoah | Written by Daniele Russo, Sean Johansen and Edward Amoah | Additional material performed by the cast

THE CAST

Harper, Hans, Footsteps – Daniele Russo

Hector, Charlie Brown – Sean Johansen

Larry Goldberg – Savas Constantine

The Cameraman – Edward Amoah

George Street Shuffle, Acid Trumpet, Fast Talking, On the Cool Side, Sidewalk Shade, Dances & Dames, Mining by Midnight by Kevin MacLeod

All music and stock footage is royalty free, and used in accordance with the fair usage policy act, and are properties of their respective owners.

Any resemblance between the characters in this picture and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle.

Copyright © 2016 Glitched. All rights reserved.